Oh well THAT is subtle....

My doctor experience to date has been somewhat mixed. Now I don't lay this on the doorstop of the doctor per se. My doc is actually fairly cool. It was more a minor communications issue, I'd say... So here's what happened on my first visit... .
My doc had told me last time I was in (when she gave the the 'get knocked up pronto or else' speech) that as soon as I got pregnant I should come in and see her. Since I have high blood pressure and am over the age of 22, I am apparently considered 'high-risk', aka 'needs a lot of adult supervision with this babymaking deal'. Shortly post dipstick results, I was a good little patient and called for the first available appointment.
Now the downside of being squeeze into a busy schedule is that there isn't a lot of time for liiiiingering conversations. That wasn't a huge issue, mainly because I wasn't quick capable of conversations at that point. Remember, I had JUST found out a beebee was on the way, so I was still fairly deer in the headlights about the whole thing. I also I still hadn't gotten my hormonal sea-legs, so to speak, so I spent most of my first appointment either incoherently attempting to answer yes/no questions, crying for no discernible reason, or looking as stunned at if I gotten whacked in the head with a trout. My husband was kind generous and caring enough to go to this first appointment with me, which meant the world. About 2 minutes into the visit, he too got the trout to the head look, although in his case, it was in response to me tearing up when the doctor gave me a free vitamin sample. What can I say, the baby on the box was just so precious looking!
After this 10 minute drama, the doctor, who is saint like in her patience with patients, sent us on our way with list of desired tests as long as my arm. Including one testing to see how much protein my kidneys throw off. Now, anyone able to do basic proof would come to the conclusions that if you are looking at kidney products, you would be looking at, well, pee. I was barely able to tie my shoes from all the excitement, so I didn't really GET that this wasn't so much a blood test she was talking about. Oh there were plenty of those though. Vial after vial worth. I 1/2 expected Wesley Snipes to come crashing through the window, Blade a-blazen. But no such luck. I was merely sucked dry and sent out.
As I stagger toward sunlight, the nice lady behind the counter called after me...."Wait! Don't forget your kidney function test!". I'm mildly concerned simply because I don't think I have any liquid anywhere in my body... I toddle woozily over to the counter and the woman hands me a flyer with a list of instructions. I am confused, since I was expecting something more along the lines of a small clear cup, and really, I know what to do with that. As I'm squinting at the sheet, she whomps onto the counter in front of me the largest piddlebucket I have ever seen in my life. This thing is the size of a GAS CAN. a LARGE gas can. With LITER marks on the side. in BRIGHT ORANGE. On the plus side it would be safe for hunting season. The downside is it's not exactly what you would call discrete.
And my little sheet o instructions is quite clear on what has to happen next. For the next 24 hours, I must capture every little dribblet of widdle, and can it. Did I mention this appointment was in the morning and I was now rather late for work? WORK. I have to pee in a giant orange jug AT WORK. Now I'm not sure on the exact workplace etiquette that applies here, but no matter how you slice it, wandering the podfarm with a jug of my own urine is decidedly not cool. People REALLY don't need a part of that. And clearly following the recommended procedure and refrigerating the giant can is totally beyond the pale. People's lean freakin cuisines are in there for heck's sake! This would be less of an issue if I was out of the closet with this whole 'growing a little creature' thing, but work has no idea. And I'd liek to keep it that way for at least another few weeks. You ever try to explain why you need to pee in a jug to your boss? Really, I hope you never do.
I will spare you the gory details of exactly how "operation GoJow" (Giant Orange Jug 'O Widdle) was accomplished. Like many black bag ops, it involved a great deal of skulking, disguises (mainly for the jug), and the details would make you downright queasy if you knew. But i am happy to report it was indeed accomplished - granted, I avoided beverages for straight 24 hours and they didn't get anywhere NEAR their 7 liter maximum, but hey, they got plenty! I can hardly wait for the next 3 times I get to do it... nope... not kidding....
I'm happy to report doc visit 2 involved no jugs and minimal urine - yay for everyone! I'll update you on that and on spreading the news, and reactions thereto - up next!!

Are you SERIOUS?!

Since we've created the detailed Almanac, I had a pretty good idea of the when and where's of making the mini - which also meant I had a decent idea when it was worth while to try a RUPreggers dipstick. Now, I've known enough women who were really quick out of the gate and knew within, like, hours of blastocysts forming. I decided to pace it a little, just cause you want to make sure it TOOK before you go to the trouble of peeing on your own hand. Gave it a about a week or so then finally whipped out the way-too-costly box o' tests. The adventure proceeded roughly as follows:
Testing Day 1 - I woke up having to go to the bathroom so badly there was no WAY I could get the wrapper on that thing open in enough time to avoid bladder explosion. I did try but it was NOT pretty. Scratch Day 1.
Testing Day 2 - I wisely did NOT drink a gallon of liquid before bed and successfully both unwrapped and target-widdled, with minimal hand splashing. Yay! Success! 5 minutes later, I realize that perhaps I should have had MORE water, since the test stick has decided it doesn't much feel like giving me a result - just a random error message. Boo! Failure! Oh yeah the newfangled ones with the LCD screens are SOOOOO much better. Stupid Technology.
Testing Day 3 - My impatience is starting to build 'slightly' at this point. Remember, I waited like a week before I even STARTED with the dipsticks, so at this point, I want an ANSWER already! In hindsight, the frothing irritation at the busted test stick as well as the total inability to wait more than a minute and 1/2 for ANYTHING were actually better indicators of having a bun in the oven than anything the test could tell me. But that's hindsight. So on day 3 when the pregnancy test stars an planets finally aligned, it was little shock that the dipstick said, and I quote, 'pregnant'. But I lie - it actually WAS a little shock. Even though I had a really darn good idea, what with being as regular as a metronome and having keep good enough records that I could predict hail, it was still very different to have an 'official' medical test confirm what you thought you sort of knew.
So I cried. Happy cry, and just for a minute, but actual tears of joy. Honesty forces me to admit, in part cause, yay! I'm having a baby with the man I adore! in part cause, thank God, I can actually get pregnant without having to give a medical practice $15,000 of our money. The thing about getting pregnant is there is only one way to find out if you can do it, and that's by doing it. And having never been pregnant, we just didn't know if it could even BE done. It can - and we did it - woo hoo!
Of course, I want to tell the hubby immediately. This is not possible since he's at work and I really don't want to reenact the cell phone commercial ('way to step up brad') so I bounce about the house all impatient again (shocker) for him to get home so I can share. After debating a bazillion elaborate ways to tell him, involving life size teddy bears and weather balloons, sanity (briefly) reins and I decide to go relatively prop-free and low-key, and was lying in wait when he got h0me.
We had tickets that night to see Bugs Bunny on Broadway at wolf trap, so I, all low key and all say, "hey baby, I know it's kinda last minute, but would you mind if we brought someone to the concert tonight?" My hubby, being a total sweetums responded with, "um no, I guess that would be ok..."
I said, "It's a child friendly show, right?" The Hubby is deeply puzzled...
"Well, yeah, but who do you want to bring?"
I say "Well, it not really someone YET but....", and with all appropriate drama, whip out the dipstick o' joy and say, '" thought we could could bring our new baby-to-be..."
And the look on his face was priceless...best summed up with the phrase 'shock and awe'. He grabs the test stick "Really?! Are you serious?! really?! oh baby!!!" SO happy! Hug and snuggles and general jubilation all around.
Well worth battling 3 test sticks and waiting 2 weeks for...And we still went to see Bugs Bunny too... :-)

Preggers - It's in there!

It's official - I've got a bun in the oven. Since we're not sharing early, we're going to document this little adventure here so you can drop in anytime and not have missed a (heart)beat. The hubby and I have been 'trying' for a for, I dunno, a year-ish. If you define trying as not trying to NOT, if you know what I mean. About 6 months ago, after a panic inducing OB/GYN visit, (you know, the one that includes the 'your eggs are aging rapidly and if you aren't knocked up in the next few months we're going to ask your husband to do unmentionable things to a plastic cup and start pumping you full of litter-producing chemicals' speech) we buckled down a little more. By buckle down I mean, I started making note of lots of little numbers in a calendar - temperatures, start dates, end dates, phases of the moon. Ben Franklin had nothing on this personal almanac - I could predict *rainfall* amounts. Now we didn't DO much with them but still - impressive. Of course, after all that math, wouldn't you know it, the ONE time we went purely recreational, wham! OK maybe not the ONE time, maybe more like the 47th time - I told you we weren't hardcore about the trying thing. Regardless, it worked, and how. And here we are. The plan is to spend the next few posts getting everyone up to speed on preggers progress to date including: dipstick turns pink& the hubby is informed, the first doc visit, & staying undercover - then we'll go realtime... So, whenever you come into the story, enjoy... ;-)